Inspired by Letterman, I tried to put the ten top signs that you are troll astrologer. Most of them are inspired by my recent experiences as an moderator on several forums, as we always have lots of them. While trolls usually are trying just to create disruption on an internet community, troll astrologers are usually trying to attract attention to themselves.
Number 11 – You have a “secret technique”
For some reason, everybody now has a secret technique that they won´t share, they won´t tell anybody their name, but they want to publish their incredible value.
You will not make public predictions with your fantastic technique, you will not say how it works, but you will publish the incredible results you have had.
If any astrologer ask why don´t you at least prove the power of your secret technique, you will usually act with rage or disdain. My personal favorite answer is “The smart ones will get it and this will open a new door in the field of astrology. For the ones that don’t get it like Tom and Yuzuru, Oh well I guess you’re not ready to learn.”
Number 10 – you go into forums and internet communities with an alias just to praise myself.
You wouldn´t believe how many people subscribe to a forum, and then when they face the disbelief and scrutinity of forum members, suddenly re-appear as a “fan” always ready to support the oppinions of the main alias! It just “happens” that the fake alias subscribed two days after you…
To show you that people are not just bad astrologers. Sometimes they also have psychological problems.
Number 9 – you have 70+ years of experience in astrology
For some reason, every bad astrologer have low self esteem, and they need to seek validation from everyone, everywhere.
So, if you ask why are they using this particular technique, they will always answer something like “I have been using this technique for 50 years” or something like that.
Does that really impresses anyone? I never got really attracted by this argument. If you can´t prove that your technique works either by logical argument, by sources, or by results, saying that you have used it for a very long time just means that you are getting old.
Number 8 – you have 1 million+ satisfied customers
Same thing. If you are defending your point, I didn´t ask for your customer satisfaction survey! I imagine that McDonalds have millions of satisfied clientes, but I don´t think their opinion is necessary to find out if their burger is made of meat! (which I doubt!)
I do believe that number do show you that your point is powerfull, if your point is marketing for astrologers. If the discussion is about solar returns, chances are that your number of clients really aren´t an important piece of the discussion.
Number 7 – “Your forum is a piece of garbage! No one answers me!”
I know that people think that moderators have super powers, but we really don´t tell forum members to whom they should reply!
If in an active forum, your answers are the only ones not being replied, it is probably because the problem is with you, agree?
Number 6 – when doing a mystery chart, you try to google the answer
Mystery charts are learning tools so astrologers can have a little fun and learn something from other people that are really using the technique, without knowing the real answer.
But you would be surprised how many people try to google the answer to try to brag about how great they are. Jesus, how can you brag if you know you are cheating?!
Number 5 – when doing a mystery chart, you give the answer after it is made public
You wouldn´t believe how many people will give you the answer AFTER the answer is made public!
“Oh, you stupid fools, if you had used (put favorite technique here) you would have got the right answer!”
Well, where were you at the start of the conversation? Please don´t give us the answer after I told you what the answer was!
Number 4 – “I have made thousands of incredible predictions to the day”
I don´t know if there is a technique that can really predict to the day. It may be. But the people that say that they can do that usually are problematic. I don´t know why. Probably it is reafirmation problems again.
Number 3 – you put your own words in some ancient authority and you say that you have “discovered their secret technique”
An “astrologer” in Brazil recently discovered the great secret of the technique of profections by William Lilly (Lilly didn´t invented the profections, but let´s forget all the problems in the text). You know, the great secret lost technique that William Lilly used to predict the Great Fire? Tarot!
Yes, the great secret of profections is that Lilly really was using the tarot! Unfortunately he didn´t write this anywhere, neither bother to say anything to his friends (he probably was protecting his “secret technique”). But we are lucky to finally have the answer revealed.
By the way, don´t miss my article next month on Mountain Astrology: “Bonatti and the I ching”.
Number 2 – “Come my creatures, and praize me”
For some reason, some people think that everybody else is at their services.
“I don´t believe in solar returns, but I will let you prove me wrong”.
Or start a thread to discuss a topic and they try to manipulate people to do a solar return, for example, and then show them the error on their ways.
Oh, please, great teacher of astrology, show us mere mortals the light!
Number 1 – “it works for me”
How good for you! But if it works only for you, and you don´t care if it will work for others, why are you posting on a community in the first place! Go to an island and make impressive secret predictions to the day!
Is there any other sign of a troll? If you remembered any that I forgot, please put your own sign of trolling (and crazy astrologer) on the comments